My ex says I'm neglecting our children — what happens next?

In most cases, this isn't a criminal accusation — it's evidence your ex is using to ask a family court to change your parenting arrangements. You'll have a limited window to respond with your own evidence, so your first steps are to find your exact deadline and start gathering proof of your day-to-day care.

Is "neglect" a formal legal charge in BC?

No. BC family law doesn't have a charge called "neglect." Instead, judges use a test called the "best interests of the child" to decide these cases. Your ex's claim of neglect is just one piece of evidence — not something you need to be found "guilty" or "not guilty" of.

There's one important exception: if the Ministry of Children and Family Development (MCFD) has also opened an investigation, that's separate from your ex's court application. That's a different, more serious process. See the MCFD section below if that's happening to you.

What is my ex actually asking the court to do?

Your ex has probably filed a court application asking a judge to change your parenting time or your parenting responsibilities. To succeed, they need to show the judge that a change is best for the children — and the neglect claim is part of how they're trying to do that.

You'll probably hear "custody" a lot too — but BC dropped that term in 2013. Now there are two separate things: decision-making responsibility (who decides on things like health care and school) and parenting time (the actual schedule). "Full custody" usually means your ex wants both. But the judge decides based on what's best for the kids — not which term gets used.

The judge looks at factors listed in the Family Law Act. These include what each child needs, whether each parent can meet those needs, and how involved each parent has been in the kids' care.

How much time do I have to respond?

Your deadline depends on which court you're in, and how close your hearing already is. Check the notice you were served for your exact date — or call the court registry today.

As a general guide:

• BC Supreme Court: You typically need to file a written response (form F32) about five business days before the hearing. File any affidavit you're relying on (form F30) by 4:00 pm on the last full business day before the hearing.

• BC Provincial Court: You have 30 days from when you were served to file a written reply (form 6). But watch for this: your first court date can happen before those 30 days are up. If you haven't filed your form 6 by then, the judge might assume you agree with your ex — or make an order without you there. So if a date is already booked, that date is your real deadline. The 30-day rule doesn't matter if your hearing comes first.

If your hearing is this week, call the court registry or a lawyer today to confirm your deadline.

What goes into my response?

Your response should do two things: tell the court which parts of your ex's application you agree with, oppose, or take no position on, and lay out the facts that support your side. This usually means:

• A written response form filed with the court.

• Your own affidavit — a sworn, factual account, addressing the specific claims your ex made.

• Supporting documents attached as exhibits.

Stick to facts and dates. Avoid guessing at your ex's motives or matching hostility with hostility — judges pay attention to tone, and a calm, specific response carries more weight than an emotional one.

What evidence actually helps?

Courts want to see real proof of how you care for your kids day to day — not just your word for it. Helpful evidence includes:

• Proof you cover their basic needs: receipts, school forms, or medical records showing you buy food and clothes, help with schoolwork, and take them to appointments.

• School or daycare records — attendance, pickups, and messages with staff.

• Medical or dental records for appointments you booked or went to.

• Photos of the kids' room, meals, or activities, if that helps your case.

• Texts or emails about the day-to-day stuff — meals, routines, school, activities.

• Affidavits from people who've seen your parenting firsthand, like a teacher, doctor, coach, or family member. Ask them to describe specific things they saw, with dates — not just "he's a great dad."

What if MCFD is involved?

Has a social worker from the Ministry of Children and Family Development (MCFD) contacted you? Or has your ex made a separate report to MCFD? If so, treat this as its own urgent problem. MCFD cases follow different rules than a parenting dispute between two parents, and more is at stake. Talk to a lawyer who knows child protection law right away.

Where can I get help this week?

• Family Duty Counsel. Free help at the courthouse for people facing an urgent family matter without a lawyer, arranged through Legal Aid BC. 

• Family LawLINE. Also from Legal Aid BC, family lawyers give free "next step" advice to those who qualify. Call 604-408-2172 in Greater Vancouver or toll-free 1-866-577-2525 elsewhere in BC.

• Access Pro Bono. Offers a free legal clinic if you qualify, or low-cost service through their Everyone Legal Clinic.

• BC Legal Directory. Search the directory for a family law lawyer to reach out to for an urgent consultation. Even one urgent consult with a family lawyer this week — just to check your response and affidavit before you file — is often worth the cost given what's at stake.